I remember a year ago like it was yesterday. I was getting ready with my bridesmaids, putting on a fancy white dress, and trying to calm the butterflies swirling around in my stomach. It was pouring outside, which didn’t help the nerves at all. I remember walking down the aisle towards him. I remember taking photos in the orchard as the sun set, running and dancing with my new husband, not caring one bit if my dress got dirty.

Our wedding wasn’t perfect, but it was everything I could have dreamed of and more, because I married my best friend. And here we are one year later, 365 days into this thing called marriage. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, doing this sweet life with Andrew. Before I got married I had a whole lot of expectations on what marriage was supposed to look like. I thought it was pillow fights, cute dinner dates, clean homes, and breakfast in bed. And though some of those things can happen occasionally, they most definitely make up a very small percentage of what marriage actually looks like in the day to day. Marriage isn’t like what you see in the rom coms. It isn’t feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries while taking bubble baths every night. Ha. I don’t even think that happened on our honeymoon. I want to squash some of those pesky expectations of what marriage looks like, by telling you my experience with it in the last year. Here are a few things that marriage IS that no one tells you:

Marriage is arguing over who is going to make the bed, especially when he believes it doesn’t need to be made at all, and you insist that it does.

Marriage is being comfortable watching each other poop. Yeah…. YEAH…

Marriage is a lot of Netflix watching and take out food eating.

Marriage is being the most vulnerable you’ve ever been, and sharing EVERYTHING.

Marriage is seeing someone at their absolute worst, and choosing to stick by their side.

Marriage is supporting each other’s dreams, no matter where they take you… even if they take you to Hawaii…

Marriage is putting your needs second to theirs, always. And that’s hard.

Marriage is deciding whether your “date” for the evening is vacuuming the whole house because you have fleas OR washing the dishes because you don’t have a dish washer and they’ve taken over the whole counter…. (as real life as it gets.)

Marriage is intentionally NOT snuggling when you fall asleep together because bodies are hot, and it’s impossible to sleep like that.

Here’s the thing: before our wedding day, whenever I thought of marriage I pictured all the highlights and romantic parts of sharing your life with someone. And YES, those things exist; they are real and so beautiful, but the majority of what makes up a marriage are the day to day mundane, normal moments.

In my first year of marriage, I’ve learned that those little moments are my favorite part. Because yeah, our all inclusive tropical resort honeymoon was rad, but what I remember most about our first year is waking up next to the love of my life everyday in our cheap apartment. I remember the “raging” nights we either watched tv in bed or played cards while drinking beers. I look back, and I love those small moments spent with Andrew.

Marriage is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my life, not because of the romantic getaways or the fancy dinner dates, but because living your life day to day with your best friend by your side is unlike anything you will ever experience. The mundane, the normal, and the little moments, THOSE are what marriage is all about. And they will always trump chocolate covered strawberries any day.

Now I’d love to hear your thoughts from all my married readers! No matter how long you’ve been married, what is the number one thing you’ve learned about marriage?

P.S. If you’re curious to know more of Andrew & I’s love story, watch the video below! It’s a pretty good love story, but I think I may be biased.

Photos & Video by Surveyor Creative.

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Lindsey Roman is an adventurous, destination wedding and elopement photographer based out of Oahu, Hawaii and available worldwide. She lives for outdoor adventures, intimate moments, and candid images. Her style is raw, passionate, and authentic. She believes in chasing sunsets, laughing too hard, and most importantly: capturing genuine moments that evoke feeling over perfectly posed photographs.