Being a wedding photographer is a huge responsibility; one we don’t take lightly. Our job is to literally come alongside our couples and help make their day the absolute best it can be. Wedding photographers put their heart and soul into each one of their couples’ big days. By the time a bride books with us through the journey to her wedding day, we’ve had back and forth communication, Skype planning dates, and multiple conversations. We’re also the one vendor who quite literally is by the bride and groom’s side from beginning to end on their wedding day. It’s fair to say because of the energy and time we invest, we often don’t consider ourselves just a vendor on someone’s wedding day, but a trusted friend.

I make it a priority to invest time into creating a friendship with my brides and grooms, as do most wedding photographers in the industry. It’s important to me that my couples and I are on the same page and that we click. Who wants a stranger they don’t get along with following them around on their wedding day ?? Uh, NO ONE!

Since we as wedding photographers put so much into our relationships with our couples, I wanted to break the ice a little bit and share with all you brides out there the five things most wedding photographers wish you’d do, but probably would never ask of you. Here we go!

1) Send Us Your Wedding Invitation

Okay. Duh. If you booked us, we obviously already know when and where your wedding is. We don’t want an invite for logistical purposes. There’s just something so exciting about getting mail from your couples that lets you know they count you as a guest at their wedding- not just the photographer.

2) Tell Us You Trust Us.. and Then Actually Trust Us

If you’ve hired us to photograph your wedding, we hope that means you fully trust us to create magic for you on your wedding day. Trust (to us) means asking what time is best for photos and adjusting your timeline accordingly. Trust is giving us the authority to make decisions regarding the location and time of your portraits so they’ll be the best ever. Trust is NOT giving us an entire page long shot list you got from Pinterest. If you truly trust us to capture your wedding authentically, we don’t need a shot list. We want to create photos for you that OTHER people will pin on Pinterest.

3) Text Us Photos of Your Dress

This might just be me, but I’m a hopeless romantic. I LOVE it when my brides text or email me photos of their wedding dress once they’ve chosen it. Maybe it’s the giddy little girl inside me, but I adore texting and sending silly GIFS to my brides. I get to connect with them on another level and show them how excited I am to capture their wedding day.

4) Give Us an Actual Spot at a Table With a Name Card

There are two reasons we love when brides include us at an actual table and not just in the corner tucked away behind a curtain to eat a vendor meal. First, this make us feel valued and cared for that you thought to include us and feed us the meal everyone else is having. (Vendor meals are typically cold sandwiches or something else equally sucky and when we’ve been on our feet all day working hard, ALL we want is a hot meal.) Second, if you don’t give us a seat at a table in the reception area, we’re typically forced to eat off in a back room where we’re more likely to miss important moments happening throughout the evening.

5) Treat Us Like a Friend, Not a Vendor

This last one is a general summary that most wedding photographers wish brides knew, but would probably never tell you to your face. We want to be your friend, straight up. If you’ve chosen to invest in us and trust us to document one of the best days of your life, we take that so seriously. We love this job. We love getting to come alongside you and be an extra bridesmaid with a camera. We are there for you and we want you to know that, truly. If you treat us more like a friend than a vendor, not only will your photos turn out 1000x better, but HEY… you’ll also get an actual friend. Win win.

I can’t speak for every photographer, but for the vast majority of us, these 5 things are surprisingly accurate for how we REALLY feel when it comes to brides and their wedding day.

Brides, were any of these surprises? Let us know your thoughts below! And for my fellow photographers, is there anything you would add that you wish brides knew? Add them below to the comments!

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Lindsey Roman is an adventurous destination wedding and intimate elopement photographer based out of Oahu, Hawaii, but she travels worldwide. She lives for outdoor adventures, intimate moments, and candid images. Her style is raw, passionate, and authentic. She believes in chasing sunsets, laughing too hard, and most importantly: capturing genuine moments that evoke feeling over perfectly posed photographs.