As a wedding photographer, I get asked a lot to share the story of my own wedding. I mean, it only seems fitting. I typically start by saying Andrew and I got married May 23, 2016 on a quaint farm in Weston, Missouri. We went for a whimsical rustic vibe in an orchard and a twinkly lit barn. We had a full wedding party, 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. We invited our church family, and all our friends and family. Then I always smile as I tell them this next part: "We got married on a Monday. Look at the calendar. May 23, 2016 is weekday."
Their response is the typical wide eyed mouth drop met with, "What!? I've never heard of anyone doing that! Did you have a super small wedding?"
If 250 guests is small than sure. We had a small wedding. ;)
The next question I always get is, "Why? Why Monday?"
Half of it was for money reasons. Weekdays are insanely cheaper to book venues than weekends, and Andrew and I got married while he was still in college and I was just starting my photography business. A college student and a beginning entrepreneur... HA. We weren't in the most financially stable situation to throw an expensive high dollar occasion to say the least. The other reason was we fell in LOVE with the venue we chose (Weston Red Barn Farm holla!!) and they had very limited days to choose from in the month we chose to get married. Add that on to the fact that one of my bridesmaids was living in England working on her Masters degree, and another bridesmaid was about to jet off to work at an orphanage in the Philippines. We had a very limited window of time to get married at all if we wanted the people close to us to be there.
All in all, choosing Monday May 23rd was probably the hardest wedding planning decision we had. Because while we wanted our wedding day to be exactly what we wanted, a main priority was to make our family and friends feel loved and cared for on our big day. Yet in the decision process we were met with SO much resistance. People didn't think we could do that big of a wedding on a Monday. They thought no one would come. They thought there was no point in serving alcohol. Nobody would be drinking or dancing because they had work the next day. Yet other than people's opinions about our date choice, everything was falling into line perfectly for that Monday. So we trusted God and went for it. And you wanna know what happened?
Two hundred and fifty of our closest friends and families showed up on that weekday evening in May of 2016. Two hundred and fifty people watched us make lifelong sacred promises to each other. Friends and family came far and wide on a Monday evening because they loved and cared for us and made a way to be there. And the beer and wine? It flowed. People partied. They danced... hard. I'm probably biased - okay WAY biased - but my wedding was one of the best wedding receptions I've ever been to... and I'm a wedding photographer... but again... highly biased. haha.
Nearly two years later, reflecting back on our big day and the wedding planning choices we made to make it happen... I don't regret a thing. I don't regret getting married on a Monday because it allowed dear friends to be able to be there in a venue we absolutely LOVED. It even rained on my wedding day, and I didn't mind. (Well after my new hubs calmed me down via a "in case of rain" note.) In looking back at my Monday wedding, I want to share some dear advice to you bride-to-be's out there reading this. Something I wish was told to me during my frantic "AHHH BUT MONDAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT WORKS BUT NOBODY HAS MONDAY WEDDINGS WHAT DO I DO" rant.
Your wedding day is exactly what YOU make it.
At the end of the day, the main focus of your wedding should be the love you have for each other and the commitment to God and each other you're making. Your wedding day is JUST that. YOURS. No one else's. It's not your best friends wedding. It's not your mom's wedding. And it's not your dear Aunt Carol's wedding. While yes, you absolutely should honor those people and take their thoughts into consideration, the choice ultimately should come down to you. Because the worst thing would be to look back in 20 years thinking what if we did that differently. What if we didn't give into what everyone else wanted and made our dream wedding happen. What if we wouldn't have listened to every nay sayer who said it couldn't be done and did it anyway.
So my last words of wisdom is this: make your wedding day exactly what you want it to be. Maybe thats eloping in the mountains of Iceland because you've always dreamed of saying 'I Do' in an epic location but all your friends got married traditionally. Maybe that's having circus clowns at your reception cause your heart beats for the unconventional and weird, but it would freak out your in laws to know how weird you really are. Maybe that's doing something completely and totally out of the box, but hasn't been done before in the traditional wedding industry. My challenge for you is, "Who cares?" It's YOUR day and you deserve it to be the absolute best representation of your relationship and personalities. Yes, honor your friends and family. Yes, show them you love them. But please don't sacrifice your wedding for the sake of other's opinions on what it should be.
It's your day. Make it exactly how you want it. Even if it's on a dang Monday. ;)
All Photos by Surveyor Creative
Lindsey Roman is an adventurous, destination wedding and intimate elopement photographer based out of Oahu, Hawaii but travels worldwide. She lives for outdoor adventures, intimate moments, and candid images. Her style is raw, passionate, and authentic. She believes in chasing sunsets, laughing too hard, and most importantly: capturing genuine moments that evoke feeling over perfectly posed photographs.